Get the Most Out of a Coach
How to Get the Most Out of a Coaching Engagement ?
I was recently asked by Angie Ankoma, VP and Executive Director at Rhode Island Foundation, how I would prepare a team of leaders to get the most out of the Executive Coaching awarded them.
We were having lunch in downtown Providence. She asked me this question over tacos, at the end of a fun lunch in which we found out that we both love the same restaurant, we both love learning, and we both believe life is short so sometimes you have to take that last minute trip to see family.
We had not talked about the fact that I am a coach and that she has a team that needs coaching. At all. I’m pretty sure when she asked if I would put together some bullet points for her about getting them ready for coaching, I just stammered, “make sure they come prepared with a topic” while wondering if I’d blown my chance of working with the team myself because I probably had purple cabbage and shredded beef hanging out of my teeth.
So, coming to a Coaching session prepared with a TOPIC, is indeed critical. That is no joke. Even with purple cabbage and beef taco shenanigans going on, it was definitely a valid answer. But later, when I was able to think about the value I could add into this initial part of the process, I began to think about what a smart and cool move it was for the VP to do. She is embracing her team’s opportunity fully, while ensuring her investment in them will be used wisely.
The points I came up with are based on Co-Active Coaching and Positive Intelligence methodologies as well as information pulled from several articles in the Harvard Business Review, on my own experience as a Coach, as a rising executive awarded a Coach, as a Department Head who desperately wanted a Coach and as an Entrepreneur who paid more for my first Coach than I did for my entire Certification Program at Brown University.
Are you ready for it?
1. Personal Desire for Change: Do you have a passionate desire to change and grow? If Coaching was awarded, gifted, or prescribed; self-reflection prior to the engagement will be critical to you getting the most out of it. What do you WANT to be different in your life? What do you want to ACHIEVE in your career? Which areas would it best serve you to IMPROVE?
Clients or employers that have a fierce desire to level up or make real change will invest a lot of money in Coaching. The monetary commitment is part of the growth. If you have just put down $20,000 for coaching, you are going to show up and do the work.
Coaching is a gift and opportunity. Create a Coaching Vision describing what will life look like at the end of a successful coaching engagement.
2. Accountability: You can hire the best Coach in the world, but YOU must be committed to do the work.
You are not broken.
A Coach is not there to “fix” anything.
She will challenge you to make the change you set out to make. She will help you hold yourself accountable to yourself. You must be 100% committed.
3. Discomfort-o-meter: A Coach will help you grow by asking you thoughtful, tough questions. It’s ok to be scared. That is how we know we are doing our jobs! Fear is the edge of comfort and growth. I’m currently working with a Coach, and I have been in tears, have felt like I was going to throw up (a few times) and have felt like “I just don’t get it”. I checked in with another Coach to see if I was a dimwit or what. Her exact response: “I think that feeling you’re describing…. is growth. It is uncomfortable, makes you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, and that you’re not good at it. You got this. It takes time.”
And I am 100% in agreement with her. If I can learn and put into practice these new techniques, I KNOW IN MY BONES that I am going to be better for it. But it is hard.
4. Be Open: You will get the most out of your engagement with your Coach if you agree to, and try, the new things that you two produce in your sessions.
It can sound impossible.
It can sound scary.
It can sound silly.
Try it anyway. Otherwise you’re just doing the same old, same old and expecting growth to magically happen.
5. Discipline: Coaching goals stretch you, further than you have ever imagined you would be stretched. Expect it to be hard. Supportive, but not easy.
6. Ask for Help: If you are quite sure you are going to walk out (or log off) of the session and never think of what you spoke about until the next session because your schedule is a crazy-ass mess, tell your Coach! Ask for help on accountability, this can be in the form of calendar reminders, calendar dates, texts, etc.
7. Topic: Come prepared with a topic you want to work on. Really. This will allow you to make the most of the time together. If you sweep in and have no idea at all what you want to talk about, your coach may tell you that the session is over, there is nothing for them to do for you. In my practice, when a client is frazzled and stressed out and has no idea what she/he needs, I refer to the Coaching Vision or I offer up a topic based on what we have worked on previously. When people are frazzled and busy, finding a topic can feel hard. One of my own clients told me, “When you ask me what I need most today, my anxiety shoots way up. I have no idea what I need”. But every coach is different.
8. Be Human: To get the most out of your coaching, work overall you, the “work you” and the “personal you”. I remember my friend Mike once told me, “Kamrin, I can refer you to my coach, but she’s tough. She’ll make you cry.” The fact that this was coming from a VP in a billion-dollar company who exudes confidence scared me. BUT I was so ready for change at the time, I also thought; “Well, I can cry in the car from frustration or I can cry with a Coach helping me get through to next. I’ll take that.”
#kamrinhubancoaching
