100 Cups of Coffee
“You need to have 100 Cups of Coffee”
My friend Grant told me, "Kamrin, when you're looking to pivot jobs, you need to have 100 cups of coffee".
At the time, I was pivoting jobs - in fact I had no job. I thought he was absolutely nuts. WHO in the heck would want to have coffee with me? What would we talk about? Wouldn’t they feel like I was completely wasting their time? Would we sit there in floundering silence while I ineptly grasped for something to say?
It sounded awful. And I really love people and really love coffee. You might have thought I’d have loved the idea. I did not. Not at all. But then the pandemic hit. And a thing called a “Zoom Coffee” was born. Or at least in my world it was born. Does everybody book “Zoom coffees”?
It gave me a safe way to practice. There was a clear start and end point. I could invite people and “meet” them from the safety of my desk.
Now that the world has opened back up, I DO love to go meet someone in a coffee shop. It took me awhile to embrace having coffee with strangers, it took me a while to understand what Grant even meant. Did he seriously want me to have coffee with people I didn’t know?
Yes. He did.
Now, my "100 cups of coffee" are incredibly meaningful parts of my day. It's a chance to take 30 minutes out and truly connect with someone new. I’ve made my pivot, but I keep having my coffees. I’ve made it a point to have these coffees thoughtfully. I’m creating my network, not just adding to it willy-nilly, but actively inviting people into it. People that have different world views than I or who live in different parts of the world than I. People who are so inspiring that I know there is a good chance they will say no to someone they don’t know. Starstruck, but I ask anyway.
I’m actively seeking to have coffee with people that I can learn from. I’m asking people to have coffee with me who have different color skin than I do. Even though I’ve been lucky enough to live overseas, my network is very white. I am taking responsibility for changing that. How can I have a decent conversation about what it’s like to live in this country right now if I only ever expose myself to one race’s worldview.
I can’t.
Growing up in rural Marysville, Washington (or it WAS rural back in the '80’s) it still didn’t occur to me until a couple years ago, that I had never met or spoken with a migrant worker. I met a wonderful woman through these coffees who had moved two or three times a year until she was in college. Her family moved with the harvesting seasons. Can you imagine how adaptable you would have to be as a kid, going to 2 or 3 different schools PER YEAR?
I meet with black women and learn about how exhausting it is to have to explain over and over and over how exhausting it is to be a black woman in this country. I’m learning how high their standards are for themselves to be seen for who they are, not how they look. As I write this, I am realizing that I have never reached out to anyone of the Narragansett, the original inhabitants of the land I live on. That is my mistake and my opportunity.
You will find that there are people out there who need you as a champion. And you will find people out there who will champion you. Through this wonderfully enriching path, you will find that you have much to offer, and you will find that you have much to receive. Both bring increased connectedness and happiness.
I was put in touch with Francesca Raoelison from Madagascar. She is looking for some leadership help, and a mentor thought I might be able to provide some guidance. Upon meeting her, I learned that she has created a company called Omena to educate young people about emotional abuse so that it doesn’t escalate into physical abuse. She’s done a TEDx, has 150 global ambassadors, 30,000 social media followers and has been endorsed by The Boston Globe, Brown University, Princeton, and the Clinton Foundation….to name a few. And I was asked to help her? What a privilege for me to meet someone with this kind of vision! (By the way, if you’d like to support Omena’s growth and reach, please consider donating to their cause).
I met a young woman with a fledgling new company. We talked about her target audience, who she could partner with, how she envisioned it looking in 3 years, and how to get her name/company out there. What guidance did I offer this young entrepreneur?
“You’re going to need to have 100 cups of coffee.”
So who are you going to have coffee with? I hope this inspires you to act. And you can always have a coffee with me.
